A blanket could be used to cover up your infidelity. Either use the blanket to hide your cheating ways, or figure out how to fornicate with all your clothes on.


A brown blanket could be used in place of chocolate frosting on a cake, and since nobody will want to eat it, you’ll be left with more cake for yourself. 


Do either a brick or a blanket have Buddha nature? The answer is yes and no and maybe, in a Triangle of Truth where there is no is, and there is no isn’t.


A blanket could be used to fill the night sky with smoke, if you use it to suffocate the fire. And if you mess it up, I’ll use my hands to suffocate you. 


A brick could be used to destroy your mannequin lover. It’s the only proper thing to do. Remember, I was the one who warned you about dating a politician.


A blanket could be folded up and kept in the trunk of my car, in much the same way that I do with the Chinese gymnastics team before I chauffer them around town. 


A brick could be used to send a message. The quickest way to send it would be through the air, and it would make more of an impact than an email or a text message.


A brick could be used as a substitute for the steak my mother-in-law just cooked me. And I asked for medium rare. I wonder what well done would taste and chew like.


A brick could be placed in an empty circular room, so that when you tell a dunce to go stand in the corner, he won’t feel so stupid and will know where to go.


Issues need to be addressed. So do boxes of bricks that need to be mailed. Make the shipping label out to Kat Nelb, 2332 Blanket Anagram Way, Jacksonville, Fl 3223.


A brick could be used to paint a mural of your favorite politician. It doesn’t matter how accurate it is, just so long as people can tell it’s a snake. 


A brick could be used like ice cream. But hold up, hold up. Let me put a bowl under it before you start licking, or else you’ll drip brick all over my blanket.


A blanket could be used to represent my feelings for you. I think it’s slightly more communicative than me giving you a scrap of paper with a doodle of an erect penis.

A brick has ten holes in two rows lining the center—perfect so that you and nine of your friends can each stick your little dicks in the brick after a few beers.


A brick is a mythical object that empowers its handler and enables them to conquer the world and control the globe through secret occult knowledge. Just ask the Masons.