I laugh, and it sounds like I've been sucking helium.

Tonight isn’t for the baby. This is just you and me.

You are my heart now. Whatever happens to you happens to me.

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you. - Erma Bombeck

How can a girl look so innocent and so hot at the same time?

The only one I want, the only one I'll ever want, is you.

He put his hand on my thigh. "No worries, I got you now babe.

Isn’t he cute? That he thinks he has a sense of humour?

We’ll make out for a while and you’ll feel better.

The male gender remembers only the things that entertain them.

Spoon with me, and I'll show you what a good cuddler I am.

Life's too short to say no when love shows up at your door.

Don’t take the bait if she asks you if you like sex toys.

Do you ever answer anything in a way that people expect you to?

I should have trusted you…the woman I fell in love with.