A brick could be used as a child’s game to improve memory. I forgot how exactly, but then I never played much. 


A brick could be used to enhance your social status. Just affix it to the hood of your car, like a Mercedes ornament.


A brick could be used to crush the Fruit of Desire and make the Juice of Destiny. Drink it before I lose my erection.


A blanket could be used to confuse and disorient. Think of it not as a bed adornment, but as a really big blindfold. 


A brick could be used to make love better. Faster isn’t always better. Don’t you want to make love better?


A brick could be used to represent a memory. That way when you live in a brick house, you could be living in the past.


Teamwork is me helping you build a brick wall that will come between us and forever divide us. Division through unity.


To fly is to swim in the air, and a brick could be used as an as example to highlight man’s failure to fishbird.


A brick could be used to simulate a war opponent. Especially if your nemesis is paraplegic and without transportation.


A brick could be crushed into powder, like cocaine, and snorted to stimulate the previous highs of the housing market.


I need a bone saw—for the meatloaf I made for you, which looks suspiciously like a brick. The gravy is a blanket.


It’s hard to wear a Speedo and pose with an erection. Still, I’ve got to try, every Saturday from 9 am to 8:59 pm.

Love happens to some people, sometimes. Other times other stuff happens to other people. I’m a person like those people.

A brick could be modified to be a cell phone, for construction workers who miss the easy to find cell phone size of the 1980s.

A brick could be used to practice your telepathic levitation. If you can lift the brick, you’ll lift your spirits.