A brick could be used to deny you your dreams. And a blanket could be used as a gateway to all your dreams. 


A brick could be used to tell time. And just between you and me, I hope that brick tells time to go to hell.


A brick could be used to remind me of her. I mean everything else reminds me of her, so why not a brick too?


A brick could deliver the zeitgeist through the thick skull of a politician faster than any letter or email.


Cats are living, breathing blankets. But a blanket, no matter how furry, cannot be used like a purrless cat.


A brick could be used as a paperweight, if the words you wrote weren’t weighty enough to hold it down.


A brick could be used as the ultimate bug crusher. But why you’d use a brick as a shoe, I have no idea.


A blanket could be used to create another way. There is no other way but to make another way. We simply must!


A blanket could be used as a scapegoat. But I’d rather use real goats, because they make better cheese.


A blanket could be used to cover up the bald spot all over my chest. That’s why I get so cold at night.


A brick could be used to enhance your sex life. So what are you waiting for? Get that gerbil out of your pants


A blanket could be used to keep you warm on a cold night. Just pour some gasoline on it and light it on fire. 


A brick could be used to monitor earthquakes. If the brick crumbles apart, you can bet an earthquake occurred.


A brick could be used as a blanket, if you’re a roach or politician. Warmth can be so crushing at times.


When you see my skill with a brick, you’ll think I’m skilled under the blanket. But I’m not.