A brick could be used to wipe your ass with. You know, if you already live someplace shitty.


Blankets could be used as tents. That would free up tents to be used as portable sex stalls.


A brick could be placed on a conveyer belt. It will revolutionize the construction industry!


A blanket could be used to make you laugh, and a joke could be used to keep you warm inside.


A brick could be flipped over and turned endlessly. But it still won’t start your car.


A brick could be used to measure the speed of gravity, but an apple offers a tastier option. 


A blanket could be made of tuna fish skin, which would go well with my cottage cheese thighs.


A brick could be used to dispel the very same lies that a blanket could be used to cover up. 


A brick could be used to keep your sandwich pressed down, so your meat doesn't spill out.


A brick could be used to make music. But why not use something more humane, like your armpit.


A brick could be used as a steak knife, and a fly swatter could be used as a meat tenderizer.


A brick could be used as a device to deliver bad news. Sometimes it's better to be blunt.


Soak blanket in gravy and make a delicious brick wrap. Serve in All Gravy Room at the Mandrake Hotel.

A brick can be used as a nickname for people who are slow, both physically and intellectually.


A blanket could be used to travel to exotic places. Just close your eyes and see for yourself.