The place is also big enough. We could all live there without killing each other." -Rhage"That depends more on your mouth than any floorplan." -Phury

The State Department said no American is proud of CIA interrogations. OK, so we're not as good as the Syrians at it, but we're not that bad.

... the preacher speaks both the word of tragedy and the word of comedy because they are both of them the truth and because Jesus speaks them both...

SpookSpeak. Douche diligence n. (CIA) Investigation and assessment performed prior to recommending a potential intelligence asset for recruitment.

A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.

Commercial comedy's often set up to feature an ironist makingdevastating sport of someone who's naive or sentimental or pretentious orpompous.

There's a little bit of James Angleton in every CIA officer. Counterintelligence implants a portion of Angleton’s DNA inside us when we EOD.

If you don't want me to attend the patient I'll go.''But she can't see a doctor now.''Why not?''She isn't well.

Read that dogs align themselves with the Earth’s magnetic field when urinating or defecating. Trying it myself this week – so far so good!

As an author I'm in my head all day and I worry that I lose touch with reality. But then my dog pees on my shoe and I know I've found it again.

Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark

My girlfriend asked if I wanted to go see a politician give a speech on “Ethics”, and I said, Sure, I might enjoy a bit of stand-up comedy.

It’s true—there are only, like, two songs about rainbows, including that one. He should be asking why there are so few songs about rainbows.

Vulcan Dis of the Week: Perhaps, t'hy'la, you should perform a mind meld on yourself, in order to determine what the bogozh you're thinking.

You think I'd cheat on you?" I demanded with all the innocent outrage I could muster."With another guy, no. With a cheeseburger . . . in a heartbeat.