When you are young your body cannot handle alcohol, and when you get old your mind cannot handle it. Either way, alcohol has its way.

Those partial to drink were hiding faults and dishonesty. They were sloppy souls, even the ones with pleasant manners and fine noses.

Wine is not a magic serum of truth. It just silences that smart little voice in your head which advises against saying some dumb shit.

You tasted like fireAnd I miss that.So, at timesI drank a little.And at times,I drank too much.But I only drankTill it burned me enough.

Not having any drink about ain’t the same as not understanding the need for one. Times like these change a body’s perspective.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.

Somebody get me a bottle of booze—and a reason to quit drinking. I fell in love twice today, and I only encountered one other person.

Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!

A beer bottle on a stick, like a broom, is less for cleaning and more for distance drinking. My floor is so filthy I’ll drink twelve.

My voice falls into Southern drawl when I am tired, drunk, or in trouble. Too often, my accent is attacked by all three of these realities.

Piano Man put up a fight but his resistance was futile. Hell hath no fury like a drunken girl at her bachelorette party in the mood to sing.

When I go to the bar, I never drink much. And to do that I avoid conversations, as silence reduces saliva and swallowing, which is drinking.

If I had a thousand sons, the first humane principle I would teach them should be to forswear thin potations and to addict themselves to sack.

I distrust a man that says when. If he's got to be careful not to drink to much it's because he's not to be trusted when he does.

I love when my cat crushes his forehead into mine like my skull is an empty beer can. But it’s not—there’s still a sip left.