A brick could be used as a deodorant deterrent. Just ask any stinky Congressman.

A brick could be used to divide two people, and then conquer both of them.


I took a nap and used a napkin as a blanket. Obviously it was a small nap.


A blanket could be used to fly interdimensionally. My penis is a wormhole.


A brick could be used to keep warm, and a blanket could be used to build a house.

A brick could be used as a laxative. You know, “Shit a brick.”


I built my marriage brick by brick. And I destroyed it blanket by blanket.


A brick can be used to represent the zero probability of this book being any good.

A brick could be used to satisfy your hunger—and satisfy my curiosity.


A brick could be translated into Spanish, and then used to landscape a lawn.


A brick could be used to soften resistance. Smash the opposition into a pulp!


A brick could be locked in a safe, because nobody will try to steal it there.


Sleep with family is a napkin (nap plus kin), and I used a napkin as a blanket.


A brick could be pet, like a dog, and taught to shit in my neighbor's yard.


Blankets are good to carry around if you want to be able to quickly black bag someone.