A blanket could be used as wrapping paper, to give the gift of a cat.


A brick is a mode of transportation, for a bug going nowhere in life.


A brick could be placed down on the first step on the path to enlightenment.

A brick could be shoved in your buttocks. You know, for your enjoyment.


A brick and a blanket are the perfect symbols for the superhero Captain Dense.

A brick could be used as a comb, if you’re bald and have no hair.


A brick could be used to help you keep your job. Just hold it down, man.


A brick could be used as a deodorant deterrent. Just ask any stinky Congressman.

A brick could be used to divide two people, and then conquer both of them.


I took a nap and used a napkin as a blanket. Obviously it was a small nap.


A blanket could be used to fly interdimensionally. My penis is a wormhole.


A brick could be used to keep warm, and a blanket could be used to build a house.

A brick could be used as a laxative. You know, “Shit a brick.”


I built my marriage brick by brick. And I destroyed it blanket by blanket.


A brick can be used to represent the zero probability of this book being any good.