My cat is an ungrateful brat. -Nellie McKay

Who knows what goes on in the mind of a cat?

I don’t own a cat. My cat owns a human.

She who saves a single soul, saves the universe.

I have hair on my chest. And it’s purring.

Quick, how do you pick up a cat?""Buy her a drink.

How about I let you floss with my jugular as well?

Wait a minute. Wait just a hairball kakking minute.

A fish tank is just interactive television for cats.

Nothing says you care like sending someone a kitten.

Chairs have legs. Four of them, like my father. Meow.

I love you. You have no idea what you are worth to me.

In the deep night of metaphysics, all cats look black.

My first rule of war, Cat-never give the enemy his wish

My love does not entail a tail. But my cat’s does.