Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!

Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

The best nicknames are the ones people don’t know they have.

The secret to success is to start from scratch and keep scratching.

Winners don’t do different things, they do things differently.

Be the one who everyone wants, not the one who everyone’s had.

In 2013 I’m going to sit back, watch the movie 2012 and laugh..

slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food.

War doesn’t determine who’s right, it determines who’s left.

When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?

I wouldn’t say you’re stupid. You are, but I wouldn’t say it.

everyone calls you by your name, but only one person can make it sound special.

You`ve got two choices; you can either sit and cry, or spread your wings and fly.

Bad attitude is like a flat tyre. You can’t reach anywhere until you change it.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end the faster it goes.