I had a dream about you. You were riding a walrus like a cowboy, and I was riding a cowboy like a cowboy. I waved at you, and you waved your lasso over your head. That’s how I got roped into buying a new car.


I had a dream about you. I should have waited until you were finished eating to tell you I love you, because you vomited all over my tablecloth. But that’s OK, because it was multi-colored and brown and green.


I had a dream about you. We were going to change the world. But instead you changed your clothes and changed your mind about going to the bar, so I ended up crying on your sofa until my unicorn arrived to take me home.


I had a dream about you. You wrapped the American flag around you like a towel, while I let Russia shower me with praise. The people over there really seemed to love me, probably because they are over there and I am not.


I had a dream about you. I was sitting on your couch, relating my succession of ideas on subconscious influence. I asked you what they meant, and you told me that free associations were a bad way to advance my political career.

I had a dream about you. We were traveling in your car. You were driving, and I was securely fastened by ropes and duct tape in the trunk. I tried telling you my family has no money, but you had to find out the hard way.


Alexander the Great slept with 'The Iliad' beneath his pillow. Though I’ve never led an army, I am a wanderer. I cradle 'The Odyssey' nights while the moon is waning, as if it were the sweet body of a woman.

You're right," Early said. "Those are two different things.""What are?", I asked, surprised that he thought I was right about ANYTHING."Dying and sleeping. A person should be able to do one without the other sneaking up on him.

Other candidates may say they have 10 years of real-world experience, but I say, What, did they work nonstop with no sleep for a decade? If that’s the case, then I am an expert sleeper with a decade of surreal-world experience.

The speaker was so boring that he put me to sleep. But he didn’t stop talking, so I had to wake up and tell him to keep his voice down, or stop talking altogether, while I was trying to take a nap. Geez. Some people can be so rude.

All the means we've been given to stay alert we use to ornament our sleep. If instead of endlessly inventing new ways to make life more comfortable we'd apply our ingenuity to fabricating instruments to jog man out of his torpor!

Stay the night, said the officer, patting a confiscated couch. I'll keep my hands off you. I promise.You have more than hands, said Elie.My feet are safe, too, said the officer. He pointed to a hole in his boots, and they laughed.

She wanted to return to her dream. Perhaps it was still somewhere there behind her closed eyelids. Perhaps a little of its happiness still clung like gold dust to her lashes. Don't dreams in fairy tales sometimes leave a token behind?

If I am to choose between "sleeping" and "being part of a leadership that pursues irrelevant agenda", I will choose "sleeping". Chasing of irrelevant agenda by a leadership sect is what made Nelson Mandela to call it "Long Walk to Freedom!

I had a dream about you. You were Mickey Mantle, and I was a fireplace without a mantle. I didn’t like baseball, so I kept telling you that you could do something productive with your life, like becoming a Tupperware salesman.