The further behind I leave the past, the closer I am to forging my own character.

If you’re looking for the perfect girl, then I’m perfectly imperfect.

Sarcasm is just one of the many services I offer to people who ask dumb questions.

Don’t do something permanently stupid just because you are temporarily upset.

I might not be there when u want me. But I’ll always be there when u need me.

I might not be there when u want me. But I’ll always be there when u need me.

That awkward moment when you’re scuba diving and see Adele rolling in the deep.

I’ll gladly let my guard down when people stop giving me reasons to keep it up.

That awkward moment when your gps tells your gay driver to ‘go straight’.

If I had my life to live over… I’d dare to make more mistakes next time.

Sometimes, I wish I could read your mind. Then I wonder, if I could handle the truth.

When people ask for candy I’m eating, I give them the flavor I don’t like.

It just hit me that this is not OUR live, this is MY life and I can do whatever I want.

“Being single is pretty good. It’s a nice sense of irresponsibility.”

Good, better, best; never let it rest, until your good is better and your better is best.