I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.

You must be a certified helmet wearing window licker to ride the sunshine bus..

i haven’t lost my brain it just couldn’t handle my ideas so it left

I was talking to myself last night and we both agreed that you’re crazy..

If you stop telling lies about me, I’ll stop telling the truth about you.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you have to buy two separate books.

When I get a text from you, I immediately stop whatever I’m doing to read it.

People who wait 4 hours to reply to a text with “lol” should be shooted

Don’t call me crazy. I much prefer the term “mentally hilarious”.

Does anyone else get scared when a text reads “Can I ask you a question?”

I smile and act like nothing is wrong, its called putting shit aside and being strong.

All men are born free and equal. If they go and get married, that’s their own fault.

Wonders if its bad when I’m talking to myself and I’m not even listening…

A wise man once said, You can’t be old & wise, if you were never young & crazy.

Excuse me, do you mind if I stare at you for a minute? I want to remember your face for my dreams.