Sober or blotto, this is your motto: keep muddling through.

Ronan did not smoke; he preferred his habits with hangovers.

There is no such joy in the tavern as upon the road thereto.

Your fork is my shovel. I eat real estate and I drink coffee.

You can learn a lot about a woman by getting smashed with her.

War and drink are the two things man is never too poor to buy.

Beer's intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it.

I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.

In Mississippi the important thing is hooch, not bar equipment.

I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.

Once the orange juice wears off, I might be drunk. I love vodka.

If you want to keep your dignity intact, stay away from tequila.

Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.

Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right.

Drinking just to get drunk is like having sex just to get pregnant.