I think I found the love of my life. Boy, I’m glad I cleaned out my fish tank.

Motorcycle helmets are bottomless. Strippers are topless. And my love is middleless.

A brick could be used to soften resistance. Smash the opposition into a pulp!


She’ll come to love me or she won’t. I’m a fisherman, not a hunter.

It is not that the girl is unfit for everything, it is that she is not of this world.

I’d rather have nobody to say anything to, than have nothing to say to anybody.

A brick could be pet, like a dog, and taught to shit in my neighbor's yard.


Sleep with family is a napkin (nap plus kin), and I used a napkin as a blanket.


A brick could be used like sandpaper, to smooth out a cat’s rough tongue.


A blanket could be used to stop a war, particularly if that war is a Cold War. 


Salsa music is best when chewing on nachos. I’m a spicy lover. Taste me and see.

A brick is slow, when it’s lying on the floor. But fast when just thrown.


You are terrifying and strange and beautiful. Something not everyone knows how to love.

On savings: A dollar here, a dollar there. Over time, it adds up to two dollars.


Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs