A brick could be used as a spoon—to eat, not cuddle. OK fine, you can use it to cuddle too.


A brick and blanket could be used to turn my words around like backwards high heels on my tongue
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A blanket could be used to settle disputes. Hold my penis while I demonstrate how it would work. 


A brick could be used as a stand in for a liar’s face. Go on, punch that liar in his face. 


A brick could be used as a trophy, and when you get yours, believe me, you’ll have earned it.


One blanket, coupled with a fluffy pillow, could be implemented as a torture device for insomniacs.


A brick could be used to get a new job. Hire me! I have a brick, and I’m not afraid to use it.


A brick could be traded for a soon-to-be abandoned baby. Let’s build a better future together.


A brick could be used to dink like a dunk, if the thunk of the think has enough verticalocity to it.


A brick is a fraction of a building, and a brick is like a building—if you're like an ant.


Bricks could be used to neatly pack your suitcase. It would promote personal strength and frugality.


If I hung out with Van Gogh, I don’t know what we’d do. We’d just play it by ear, I guess.

A brick could be used to decorate the interior of your anus. Here, bend over and let me demonstrate. 


A brick could be used like a giraffe could be used as a neck warmer. You could also use my foreskin. 


A brick could be used as a floatation device. But only use it if the person drowning is a politician.