A brick could help me hold down a job. Hey, in an economy as bad as this, every little bit helps. 


One blanket, coupled with a fluffy pillow, could be implemented as a torture device for insomniacs.


A brick could be used as a trophy, and when you get yours, believe me, you’ll have earned it.


A brick could be used to dink like a dunk, if the thunk of the think has enough verticalocity to it.


Bricks could be used to neatly pack your suitcase. It would promote personal strength and frugality.


A brick is a fraction of a building, and a brick is like a building—if you're like an ant.


A brick could be traded for a soon-to-be abandoned baby. Let’s build a better future together.


A brick could be used as a flotation device, if you’re Michael Phelps and don’t need it.


A brick could be used to get a new job. Hire me! I have a brick, and I’m not afraid to use it.


A brick could be used to decorate the interior of your anus. Here, bend over and let me demonstrate. 


A brick could be used like a giraffe could be used as a neck warmer. You could also use my foreskin. 


A blanket could be used as an inherently destructive force, if you can just get past the brick stage.


A brick could be used as an idol you can worship. But be careful, lest God smite thee with His wrath.


A brick could be used as a floatation device. But only use it if the person drowning is a politician.


I have a fist like a brick, but I don’t punch through walls—I build them and become them.