To a man, a woman is fun to be with … until she gains weight. To a woman, a man is fun to live with … until he loses his job.

Flambé - done beside a table covered in crisp starched linen in a French restaurant: a method to burn food and money simultaneously.

I am the Hooray Distributor. Hold your hands flat, not like begging for money, but as if you’re about to applaud. Now clap, damn you.

Jesus’ idea of blessing is completely contrary to ours. It has nothing to do with what we have, and everything to do with who we are.

If you think of evil things, you are likely to do evil things and that will never pay you a pesewa. Think of good things and do good always!

The wealthy, Jesus says, can only get into heaven through the eye of a needle; the same applies to churches wealthy in numbers and programs.

If we cannot be contented with our current lives and possessions, then we are feeding an appetite that no amount of money will ever satiate.

Why spend ten dollars to buy one item that does two things, when for five dollars a piece I can sell you two items that each does one thing?

Risk is what you control and fortune is really all about risk. Bottom Line: Fortune comes from big money bets on very low probability events

My zip code is my salary. Too bad I live in 32256 and not 90210.
Also, I lied—but only because the zip code 00000 does not exist.

Thought is power, as is desire, but neither is enough unless it is backed by faith, specificity, and the desire to see to it that it becomes.

Love can make a flower more fragrant, a blue sky bluer, and an empty bank account emptier. I should probably sign up for another credit card.

I have never seen a newspaper headline where those in spirit, without physical bodies, carried out evil deeds like a mugger in a parking lot.

A friend told me that one day he and I would be rich and famous. I told him that I'd trade my half of the fame, for his half of the money.

So many problems, however infinitely varied they first appear, turn out to be matters of money. I can't tell you how much this offends me.