Government is like a baby An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the othe

It’s still masturbation if your clone gives you a hand job. It’s also a lot like being a member of Congress.

Politics is theater. It doesn't matter if you win. You make a statement. You say, "I'm here, pay attention to me

It is better to be violent if there is violence in our hearts than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence

[I]t kind of terrified me to imagine myself spending the rest of my life tinkering on the margins of the small arguments.

The care of human life and happiness, and their destruction is the first and only legitimate object of a good government.

You start out wanting to change the world through language, and end up thinking it's enough to tell a few good jokes.

I don't believe in the Constitution because I'm American, I'm American because I believe in the Constitution.

Democracy is the menopause of Western society, the Grand Climacteric of the body social. Fascism is its middle-aged lust.

Revolution from above, in some states and cases, is [...] often preferable to the status quo, or to no revolution at all.

Total freedom is not possible since one person s freedom to flail arms curbs another s freedom not to have a bruised nose

God bless our good and gracious King,Whose promise none relies on;Who never said a foolish thing,Nor ever did a wise one.

Control over the production and distribution of oil is the decisive factor in defining who rules whom in the Middle East.

If Jeb Bush gets elected, I'll know that on my way back from overseas, I entered Biff Tannen's parallel universe.

It is the duty of every citizen according to his best capacities to give validity to his convictions in political affairs