A brick could be placed down on the first step on the path to enlightenment.

I feel sorry for anyone who is in a place where he feels strange and stupid.

The only difference between me and a madman is that he has the certification

I pee whilst seated. But it’s hard to focus with people honking at me.

Just as soon as I arrive I want to leave. Especially when I’m in love.

I keep my love for her in the ashtray, along with the other stuff she burnt.

When I find the wind to say I love you, it will be breezy, like a hurricane.

I left a jar in the doorway to leave the door ajar, but love never walked in.

I shave my face like a car. I speed through car washes, but I brake for love.

A brick could be shoved in your buttocks. You know, for your enjoyment.


Underwater nobody can dance. Let this be a lesson in basket weaving. And love.

Strange, isn't it?" he asks."Where life takes you and how much can change.

Strange how complicated we can make things just to avoid showing what we feel!

I’ll write The Art Of Love, which will be tactical, like The Art Of War.

I farted like a pack of crying onions. That was my response to her I love you.