A blanket could be used to express my feelings towards her. You see, I’m not tired—but I am tired of her.


A brick could be used as a child’s game to improve memory. I forgot how exactly, but then I never played much. 


A blanket is a tell-all story about its endeavors with certain highly publicized people and their somewhat promiscuous acts.

A brick could be used as a stand in for something to stand on, when a ladder’s on location in another location.


A brick could be used to enhance your social status. Just affix it to the hood of your car, like a Mercedes ornament.


A blanket could be used to confuse and disorient. Think of it not as a bed adornment, but as a really big blindfold. 


Teamwork is me helping you build a brick wall that will come between us and forever divide us. Division through unity.


To fly is to swim in the air, and a brick could be used as an as example to highlight man’s failure to fishbird.


A brick could be crushed into powder, like cocaine, and snorted to stimulate the previous highs of the housing market.


I need a bone saw—for the meatloaf I made for you, which looks suspiciously like a brick. The gravy is a blanket.


A brick could be used as a floating object that dispensed fresh water, if only it were lighter and shaped like a cloud.


A brick could be modified to be a cell phone, for construction workers who miss the easy to find cell phone size of the 1980s.

The man you’re going to marry should be like a brick: strong, sturdy, supportive and almost always hard in your presence.

A blanket could keep a family of three warm for a lifetime, but global warming could do the same for the world forever. 


A brick could be used to motivate. Just hold it up as an example of something that’s going nowhere in life.