A brick could be used to direct traffic. Use a brick from the scene of the accident, where some driver ran into a brick wall. 


A blanket, as the epitome of warmth, could be used to stop colds. Also, sex with me might be the surest way to prevent a cold.


A brick could be used in a manner most secret. But Shh! I can't tell you. What part about secret don't you understand?


A brick could be slid on a wood floor, like a rolling bowling ball, in an attempt to fill the seconds between swallows of beer.


A brick could be licked, like a cat’s asshole. But obviously inversed, because your tongue is soft and the brick is rough.


A blanket could be used to barter with. I could trade my blanket for your sex, and everybody’s happy but the tax collector.


A brick could be used like Dracula uses binoculars. I swear that pervert peeps on me every night from the tree across the street.


Bricks could be used to replace stop signs. Some people won’t stop at stop signs, but everybody will stop for a brick wall.


Blankets could be used as billboards on buildings, especially hotels, if you write things like, “Free sex with room.”


A brick could be used in a smash and grab. Well, at least in the smashing aspect. A blanket would be more suited to the grab role.


A brick could be used as a middle name. But who’d be dumb enough to do that, when it would clearly make a better first name?


A brick could be used as a Sexual Orientation Device. But I don’t need it, because I know my sexual orientation—north!


A brick and a blanket need a logo, and I’m just the designer to hire to sit around idly as I ideally charge you by the hour.


A brick could be given as a graduation gift to a C student. It’s like here, welcome to a life in the construction industry. 


A brick could be used like the point where always meets never. I mean come on, who wouldn’t want to watch a brick levitate?