You, er, want us to attack him?" said the guard miserably. Thick though the palace guard were, they were as aware as everyone else of the conventions, and when guards are summoned to deal with one man in overheated circumstances it's not a good time for them.The bugger's bound to be heroic, he was thinking. This guard was not looking forward to a future in which he was dead."Of course, you idiot!""But, er, there's only one of him" said the guard captain."And he's smilin'," said a man behind him."Prob'ly goin' to swing on the chandeliers any minute," said one of his collegues. "And kick over the table, and that.""He's not even armed!" shrieked Wonse."Worse kind, that," said one of the guards, with deep stoicism."They leap up, see, and grab one of the ornamental swords behind the shield over the fireplace.""Yeah," said another, suspiciously. " And then they chucks a chair at you.""There's no fireplace! There's no sword! There's only him!Now take him!" screamed Wonse.A couple of guard grabbed Vimes tentatively by the shoulders."You're not going to do anything heroic, are you?" whispered one of them."Wouldn't know where to start," he said.

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