Shayari Bazar

Oh, would thatI had died the way the Sikh did! I can not go forward. I shallnot submit to being made to see more clearly than I do. Yet, ifI turn back I am self-confessed coward! Furthermore, how can Iturn back! How shall I reach India, alone, alive? As a corpse Ishould no longer interest myself. And if I should succeed inreaching India, I should despise myself, because you and Jimgrimtreated me as fellow man and yet I failed you. On the other hand,if I go forward they will teach me the reality of things, of whichalready I know much too much! It has been bad enough as failedB.A. to stick my tongue into my cheek and flatter blind men--pompous Englishmen and supine Indians--for a living. I have hadto eat dust from the wheels of what the politicians think isprogress; and I have had to be polite when I was patronized bymen whom I should pity if I had the heart to do it! And I couldendure it, Rammy sahib, because I only knew more than was goodfor me and not all of it by any means! I do not wish to know more.If I saw more clearly I should have to join the revolutionaries--who are worse than those they revolute against! It is alreadybad enough to have to toady to the snobs on top. To have to agreewith the snobs underneath, who seek to level all men to a commonmeanness since they can not admire any sort of superiority--thatwould be living death! I would rather pretend to admire theEnglishman whose snobbery exasperates me, than repeat the liesof Indians whose only object is to do dishonestly and badly butmuch more cleverly what the English do honestly and with all thestupidity of which they are capable!