A brick could be slid on a wood floor, like a rolling bowling ball, in an attempt to fill the seconds between swallows of beer.


I’m not saying I’m not saying. I’m also not saying I’m in love, and I’m not not saying I’m in love.

Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I’m out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies.

A brick could be licked, like a cat’s asshole. But obviously inversed, because your tongue is soft and the brick is rough.


Empty pockets full of empty packets of hot sauce remind me of the love I have for her. My heart burns with desire. My mouth also burns.

A blanket could be used to lay down the law. Lay it down over there, on top of the bed, and I’ll come over and enforce it.


Blankets could be used as billboards on buildings, especially hotels, if you write things like, “Free sex with room.”


Bricks could be used to replace stop signs. Some people won’t stop at stop signs, but everybody will stop for a brick wall.


She says he says, but she could be lying to me, and he could be lying to her, so I can’t believe her, even if I could believe her.

A brick could be used as a marketing tool. I’ll help you grow your business, if you help me plant this brick in the ground.


You can’t buy love, it’s true. However, I am offering mine for rent. Buy one year and get the next six months at half price.

A brick could be used as another brick, as they all look the same. So yes, I am for human cloning as a means to build the future.


We were just kids, what did we know about love? I knew I loved her, and she knew she didn’t love me. Turns out we were both wrong.

A brick could be used like Dracula uses binoculars. I swear that pervert peeps on me every night from the tree across the street.


A blanket could be used to barter with. I could trade my blanket for your sex, and everybody’s happy but the tax collector.