A skyscraper is to a brick as a pyramid is to____________A) a vagina, B) a particular vagina, or C) your mother’s vagina.


My shadow falling over a spot of land always increases its real estate value. Buy it now, because at high noon, all value will vanish.

A brick could be used to help define your rigid beliefs. I put my beliefs to bed, along with the hooker I rented for the night.


A brick could be slid on a wood floor, like a rolling bowling ball, in an attempt to fill the seconds between swallows of beer.


Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I’m out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies.

A blanket could be used to lay down the law. Lay it down over there, on top of the bed, and I’ll come over and enforce it.


A brick could be licked, like a cat’s asshole. But obviously inversed, because your tongue is soft and the brick is rough.


A brick could be used like Dracula uses binoculars. I swear that pervert peeps on me every night from the tree across the street.


Bricks could be used to replace stop signs. Some people won’t stop at stop signs, but everybody will stop for a brick wall.


A brick could be used as a marketing tool. I’ll help you grow your business, if you help me plant this brick in the ground.


A brick could be used as another brick, as they all look the same. So yes, I am for human cloning as a means to build the future.


She says he says, but she could be lying to me, and he could be lying to her, so I can’t believe her, even if I could believe her.

A blanket could be used to barter with. I could trade my blanket for your sex, and everybody’s happy but the tax collector.


Blankets could be used as billboards on buildings, especially hotels, if you write things like, “Free sex with room.”


A brick and a blanket need a logo, and I’m just the designer to hire to sit around idly as I ideally charge you by the hour.