I’m a competitor. I once placed fifth in a bottle of whiskey.

The drink you like the best should be the drink you drink the most.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

Spain is 4/5ths pain and 1/5th S. I drank that fifth, and I loved S.

Afternoon drinkers shifted in the gloom as if they sensed new blood.

It’s a great advantage not to drink among hard drinking people.

I've gotten more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

I'm drinking away the exam results that don't take me anywhere.

... it's a bad sign when someone drinks a lot and doesn't laugh.

It's 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is?

you never know u r drunk until u wake up with a dickhead in the morning.

I can't die until the government finds a safe place to bury my live

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problems

A drinker does not exist. Whatever they say, it is just the drink talking