A blanket could be used in exciting medical advancements, curing everything from shivers to tonitrophobia.


A brick could be used as one ingredient on the greedy Cake of Love. Other ingredients include: Everything.


The clips hurt. The presence of a chainsaw was terrifying. And Noah did not want to hear about insane Nazi poets.

A brick could be affixed to each end of an axle, for an example of transportation in a pre-wheel society. 


A brick could be used to illustrate your innocence. I can help you with that, because I brought a crayon. 


A brick should decide who gets to rule the people, and I should decide what rules determine whom the brick favors.

Love is an award you win by losing—or giving it away. Trophies collect dust, but love is the ultimate prize.

My love is a flower. If you’d call that romantic, I’d agree and say it would look great on your grave.

I was short staffed. But that's what happens when all your employees are midgets. I make love like spicy rice.

My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if I accompanied you on my harmonica?

A blanket could be used to spread the love around. Tuck it in at the edges, so nobody can hog all the amor.


Don't you wish we all lived in black light.... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know it

A brick could be used to bring about a pantsless revolution. A zipper is just a gate holding you back, man.


A brick could be used to cut things. The duller the object, the sharper the user has to be to make it work.


Bricks could be used as breast implants. Lady Squaretits is really particular about the shape of her boobs.