A brick could be used as a trophy, and when you get yours, believe me, you’ll have earned it.


One blanket, coupled with a fluffy pillow, could be implemented as a torture device for insomniacs.


A crate full of discreet would appear to be empty. But it’s not. It’s full of my love for you.

Advice about love: When the green grape turns red, it’s time to separate the socks from the mittens.

I’d lick the water out of your bathtub, just to prove I love you—and that I’m not a cat.

I put the hands in handsome. Then I put my penis in those hands. That’s some good-looking lovemaking.

I knew we were destined to be lovers from the moment she tied me up and stuffed me in the trunk of her car.

A brick could be traded for a soon-to-be abandoned baby. Let’s build a better future together.


A brick could be used to get a new job. Hire me! I have a brick, and I’m not afraid to use it.


A brick could be used to dink like a dunk, if the thunk of the think has enough verticalocity to it.


A brick is a fraction of a building, and a brick is like a building—if you're like an ant.


Bricks could be used to neatly pack your suitcase. It would promote personal strength and frugality.


I eat soup with chopsticks—and straws. And I make love with the surgical precision of a sledgehammer.

Your leftover meatloaf makes me horny. Let us make love like the first squirt from a new bottle of ketchup.

If I hung out with Van Gogh, I don’t know what we’d do. We’d just play it by ear, I guess.