I was nervous. Like an ice cube, I just froze up. Then I melted in some strange guy’s drink.

A blanket could be used as a distraction. Wave it to the right, while you loot to the left.


Bricks could be used to fill my empty trophy cabinet. But first I’ve got to win them.


I sing like a flower, and I dance like a tree. Let us make love like an overflowing cup of coffee.

I drink coffee like other men paint pictures of naked women. I do it because I love the full body.

When I smell small, my nose gets clogged up. Think what would happen if I whiffed medium or large.

A brick could be flipped over and turned endlessly. But it still won’t start your car.


My love for you would blot out the sun like a cloud made out of yogurt. I hope you brought a spoon.

Blankets could be used as tents. That would free up tents to be used as portable sex stalls.


A blanket could be used to make you laugh, and a joke could be used to keep you warm inside.


When love knocked at my door, I prayed to God and thanked Him for letting me live in a Porta-potty.

The remote isn’t broke—it just needs batteries. Well, it’s the same with my love.

I took some of the price off, and she took some of her clothes off. She made love and I made money.

A brick could be used as a steak knife, and a fly swatter could be used as a meat tenderizer.


Because blood is blood, and every family has its own force.Its own flavor.Its own charm and strange.