The hard part is over. Now comes the soft, gooey part that's impossible to get off one's shoes.

Nothing gives you confidence like being a member of a small, weirdly specific, hard-to-find demographic.

So, what you’re basically telling me is death is boring but no worse than hanging out with family.

Bad improvisers block action, often with a high degree of skill. Good improvisers develop action."(p.115)

The possession of facts is knowledge; the use of facts is wisdom; the creation of facts is covert action.

To observe reality is to change it. Especially if reality catches you observing down its blouse at work.

I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. Things Jesus never said.

In the final analysis, it's even money whether they'll use the phrase 'in the final analysis.

Whoever invented the 360-degree feedback method was thinking outside the box, but not outside the circle.

To be a philosopher, just reverse everything you have ever been told...and have a sense of humor doing it.

I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts.

If you feel badly enough about dialing a suicide prevention hotline by mistake, it wasn’t a mistake.

You will be so dead, dear Sister. Make telpon dari tadi kayak Kroasia ada di sebelah Jakarta aja. Huahahaha

Meeting a vampire is kind of like a celebrity sighting, but where the celebrity possibly wants to kill you.

Peter and Jessie were like Romeo and Juliet. Have you ever seen that old movie? Starring Leonardo Dicaprio?