Nothing gives a sensation better than a beer! Nothing builds a relation better than a beer!

I added five shots to my coffee, because that’s all the bullets my magazine can hold.

When reality and your dreams collide, typically it’s just your alarm clock going off.

Laugh whenever you can. Keeps you from killing yourself when things are bad. That and vodka.

It was one of those striking moments in life where you find familiarity in the inexplicable.

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument.

My love is like an empty bottle of wine. If you’re wondering, my ex wife drank it all.

Efficient self-destruction is what it is. Clean and neat. Almost surgical in its precision.

They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am.

Love is two spirits occupying one bottle of spirit. You’ve got to be 21 to drink of me.

one doesn't even think ofthe liverand if the liverdoesn't think ofus, that'sfine.

When a man wants to have an alehouse meltdown, the worst thing you can do is stand in his way

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Liquor is the chloroform which enables the poor man to endure the painful operation of living.

I drink much less than most people think, and I think much more than most people would believe.