I do not do free e-books. I occasionally like to eat that thing you people call "food".

99% of all problems can be solved by money -- and for the other 1% there's alcohol.

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.

If dat ghost have money, I tells him never to haunt you less'n he wants to lose it!

Wisdom of the Ages: "Government" Like a mafia protection racket-without the protection.

No, I don't go to that restaurant anymore. No body goes there. It's too crowded.

It’s a vampire cabal and I’m feeling like the odd human out…or lunch.

From my novel, "A Twist in Travel:Fate," "What, you've never seen a grown man naked?!

If you want to convince a criminal to see things your way, start by seeing things theirs.

If I were to be honest, I'm probably fifty percent bagel. Okay, fine, sixty percent.

Life without risks is like a burrito without Tabasco. Bland, but you’ll still fart.

Fiction is but a moment of bliss that takes the pain away...Like a cookie for the soul...

Wisdom of the Ages: "Valentine's Day" Because she never forgets, especially if you do.

Water is the most essential element in life, because without it you can't make coffee.

Wisdom of the Ages "Unsuccessful Town Slogans" Sequim (WA)- "We put the Dung in Dungeness.