Yo Mama’s so ugly, her Mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Among wilderness survival tips, punching a wild animal in the face probably isn’t on a checklist.

Mister if you want more to join,’ She said half-choked ‘you’ll have to put in the coin.

Show me a writer that doesn't use their craft as a coping mechanism and I'll show you my unicorn.

Columpios apedofilados que se sienten solos buscan culos de niños" ~ Hazel, Bajo la misma estrella.

Among the top ten things I've learned in life: when your hair stylist is having a bad day, reschedule.

Why do I write? Because I like telling stories and I don't like repeating myself (insert chuckle here).

You know you're officially an adult when you finally understand WHY Miss Hannigan was drinking bath water.

There was a time when the one singular thing that held a marriage together was the threat of getting the kids.

Said Opie Read to E.P. Roe,"How do you like Gaboriau?""I like him very much indeed!"Said E.P. Roe to Opie Read.

Jack, I think I'm having a mid-life crisis. Oh Mom, you're way too old to be having a mid-life crisis.

By the time that adorable steak and I had become one flesh I could have taken on the whole Valmy clan singlehanded.

Marriage is the equivalent of trying to live with a bug perpetually up your nose.”D’Artagnan Bloodhawke

Instead of hopping around like a wild in'jun on fire, try counting from 10 backwards while hopping on one foot".

Wisdom of the Ages "News People" Always joking around and happy. I guess that proves that ignorance really is bliss.