I want instant coffee at the snap of my fingers that gives me more energy than that generated by a million snaps.

Drinking coffee is like drinking an inverse yawn. I prefer mine with two spoonfuls of “I’m listening.

Her hair was the color of coffee without cream, and she fell in love with me when I poured sugar on her. Probably.

The early morning is too strong to drink straight, so I need to mix in a little coffee to be able to hold it down.

I had a dream about you. You made the coffee and I made love to your sister. Everybody agrees: we need more cream.

Many people claim coffee inspires them, but, as everybody knows, coffee only makes boring people even more boring.

Decaffeinated coffee is like orgasmless sex. I guess I’ll take some, if you know anyone who’s offering.

It doesn't matter where you're from - or how you feel... There's always peace in a strong cup of coffee.

I think Starbucks would go out of business if more people were to Superglue their eyelids open when they felt tired.

What doesn’t KILL me makes me stronger… Except for the extinction of COFFEE… that might kill me.

He had sky eyes and sun hair and all the women loved him. And all I had was an empty coffee cup, full of sleepy hope.

I just bought a can of brown paint. It’s more expensive than coffee, but I really hit the wall after I chug it.

I drink coffee like an alcoholic drinks gasoline. You wouldn’t believe how many gallons my little car can hold.

Sleep is fueled by no fuel. If I had enough coffee, I’d never have to sleepwalk my way through a marathon again.

I don’t like hot coffee that’s cold, or iced coffee that’s hot. Or leftover love in a rusty thermos.