It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

Accept that some days you’re the bug, and some days you’re going to be the windshield.

So the world was nuts and he'd suddenly discovered a kink for geeks. There were worse things.

Listening to the Fifth Symphony of Ralph Vaughan Williams is like staring at a cow for 45 minutes.

I had about as much chance to do that as I did of backpacking my car to the top of Mount Rushmore.

He will work off his crudities in time. I rather mistrust young men who slip into life gracefully.

the best of" show was completely gone and we were in big trouble, except we didn't really care.

Apollo wanted out. Out of Aphrodite, out of this bathroom, out of this house, and out of this life.

Right at the flamingo orgy! Left at the multiethnic roof Santas! Straight past the pissing cherubs!

And I thought kitty liter was the unlawful practice of discarding small felines along the roadside.

I don't know why they call them Cheerios, I ate an entire box and didn't feel any happier!!

The important thing for any writer to remember is to take the writing seriously, but not the writer.

You know we've got it bad when a naked and gyrating Channing Tatum can't solve our problems.

If a wizard should take up residence in your garden, and requests food, you are obliged to feed him.

One cannot live on cock alone," Etienne called out as he left the stable. "God knows I've tried!