On average, women are better liars than men. But the best liars are men, because politicians are still predominantly men.


It’s hard to hear over the racket of gunfire. Politicians want to talk about war, but the people want to talk about peace.

There’s always going to be a criminal element in the population. At least as long as people believe they need politicians.

he was one of those diplomats who like and know how to work, and, despite his laziness, he occasionally spent nights at his desk.

We contradict all for which we stand for we all stand for the lie the whole lie and nothing but the lie so help save our lying asses.

The Bowery station on the J line is what happens to a neighborhood once politicians realize the people who live there don’t vote.

A lie is the most sacred private property on Earth. Governments claim it is not theirs, and that their critics are the rightful owners.

Insider trading is a serious crime. Do you know what the penalty for doing it is? Nothing, if you’re a member of Congress.


If everyone in America started mailing empty boxes, we could boost productivity, profitability, and employment. Think like a politician.

Even I realized that money was to politicians what the eucalyptus tree is to koala bears: food, water, shelter, and something to crap on.

Apenas discerni que repetir o que toda a gente pensava não era em política um sinal de inferioridade, mas de superioridade.

It is not a first time in history that we have got people who have sold out and subverted the ideas for which they stood for in the past.

I believe in true love. But my opinion is tainted, because I also believe in Bigfoot, aliens, and in the existence of honest politicians.

Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

The world hates the truth and all that share it, and so if you share truth eventually you will be hated by the world if you are not ready.