Voting for the lesser of two evils is still voting for evil. Next time, why don’t you go all out and write in Lucifer on the ballot?

You sanctimonious philistines, who scoff at me!What has your politics fed onsince you've been ruling the world?On butchery and murder!

I wish politicians the world over would stop claiming credit for economic growth that happens despite them, not because of them. Grow up...

Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them either.

The ability to gauge intelligence is itself a form of intelligence. Monkeys don’t ponder how smart monkeys are. Ditto for politicians.

Politicians study hard and work diligently their entire lives to be able to stand in front of a national audience and lie through their teeth.

The PM glanced a look of pure malevolence. A terrifying glimpse into what madness, ego and naked ambition it takes to lead a modern democracy.

You know who’s not money? @JManziel2. Quarterbacks should stay in the pocket, because that’s where the money is. Ask any politician.

The raindrops gathered on my windshield like prostitutes at a political convention, and I voted like I always vote—with my windshield wiper.

I make love like a snake disguised as an elephant and a donkey. But I mustn’t talk about sexual congress and Congress simultaneously.


Be the cheeseburger you’ve always dreamed you could be. That’s the advice I’d give to any hamburger running for political office.

Joe is 3/4ths of a joke. 75% of politicians are jokes too, only the punchlines are the voters, and that kind of humor I just don’t find funny.

Politics doesn’t mean playing deceitful and trickery games against the people, it means playing resourceful and organized games for the people.

On the Night of the Halloween, I have never seen any evil apparition or fearsome ghost but politicians on TV! They are the real goblins and specters!

Prolific irony - For 8 years, the finger on the button that could end the world belonged to a president who couldn't pronounce the word "nuclear.