For some reason salesmen spend most of their time asking questions they already know the answers to. They rarely ask to discover anything new.

I used to sell hellos by the wave until I found out Dark Jar Tin Zoo was reselling them on eBay as goodbyes. Now I’m a yawn distributor.

I’ll sell you one shoe for half off, since it’s half the set. But if you want the second shoe, it’ll cost you twice as much.

Success does not judge one man for being worthy above another. Success doesn’t choose you because of your family name or existing wealth.

77 degrees in the fall feels cold, and 77 degrees in the spring feels hot. That’s why I’m selling year-round-nudity for half-price.

Successful prospecting depends on selecting methods that you can effectively navigate. If something makes you uncomfortable, please don't do it.

My love is divided into three parts. I’ll give you part one and two for free, but for the fourth installation, you’ll have to pay for it.

I sold ten bags of hellos for five bags of goodbyes. I’d say that’s a good profit. Or it was, before I blew all my goodbyes on ex lovers.

I was so sure that I knew what they needed and what I wanted to sell them that I never stopped long enough to find out what it was they wanted to buy.

Understand why you are different and how you help, recognise your target market, and give them something they might not even realise they are missing.

I don’t think he’s good with people because he’s a salesman—I think he’s a salesman because he’s good with people.

To my shame, I had never thought to ask anything of the future, and yet woke each and every day embittered because it was never what I needed it to be.

If a 6 foot tall talking Badger comes to your door with a great deal on health insurance, be certain to ask if it includes in-patient psychiatric care.

Instead of a Lemonade Stand, I should open up a “You know what I can’t stand?” Stand. I’ll sell rants in small, medium, and large.

Knocking on a door is so violent. Instead, try talking to the door to get it to open up to you. I should write a self-help book for door-to-door salesmen.