A brick could be used like a giraffe could be used as a neck warmer. You could also use my foreskin. 


A brick could be used as a floatation device. But only use it if the person drowning is a politician.


A brick could be used to decorate the interior of your anus. Here, bend over and let me demonstrate. 


A brick could replace your window, if your window’s opaque, and you throw the brick hard enough.


I have a fist like a brick, but I don’t punch through walls—I build them and become them. 


A brick could be used in the back part of a director’s last name, to make an epic space odyssey.


I want to meet a guy named Art. I'd take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave.

I bought salvation from a man on the street. He said, "Go down to the beach and let the waves wash your feet.

A brick could be used to sway the voters. But if you really want to sway them, try using a catchy song.


A brick could be tied to a cape, and then exalted as a superhero. Is that any more absurd than Superman?


A blanket could be used to mimic the mating call of my crumpled-up clone. Isn’t silence seductive?


A brick could be used as a flashlight. What, still dark? Check the batteries, because they may be dead. 


Love is like building a wall with two bricks and a ton of wind. Obviously you and your lover are bricks.


Neither I nor the four flippers of the sea-bear of the Boreal ocean have been able to solve the riddle of life.

A blanket could be used to water down the water. Don’t do it now! Wait until I am finished bathing.