Just like an apple tree apples and the earth peoples, Alan Watts alans prickly-goos and gooey-prickles.

A blanket could be used to settle disputes. Hold my penis while I demonstrate how it would work. 


A brick could be used as a stand in for a liar’s face. Go on, punch that liar in his face. 


A brick could be used as a spoon—to eat, not cuddle. OK fine, you can use it to cuddle too.


A brick and blanket could be used to turn my words around like backwards high heels on my tongue
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And in the movement of the sun, I felt something I hardly know how to name: some huge, cosmic love. 

His name is Randy Randy. Or maybe it’s Randy Randy. I always get his first and last names mixed up.

One blanket, coupled with a fluffy pillow, could be implemented as a torture device for insomniacs.


A brick could be used as a trophy, and when you get yours, believe me, you’ll have earned it.


I talked to him on Christmas, and again on March 5th. Neither one of us hung up the phone that whole time.

Bricks could be used to neatly pack your suitcase. It would promote personal strength and frugality.


A brick is a fraction of a building, and a brick is like a building—if you're like an ant.


A brick could be traded for a soon-to-be abandoned baby. Let’s build a better future together.


A brick could be used to get a new job. Hire me! I have a brick, and I’m not afraid to use it.


A brick could be used to dink like a dunk, if the thunk of the think has enough verticalocity to it.