Tangaloor, fire-brightFlame-foot, farthest walkerYour hunter speaksIn need he walksIn need, but never in fear.

Everything I know about love, my cat taught me. It put its paw on my head and transferred all knowledge to me.

I’m trying to translate what my cat says and put it in a book, but how many homonyms are there for meow?

Cat hate reflects an ugly, stupid, loutish, bigoted spirit. There can be no compromise with this Ugly Spirit.

It is natural for our unamiable sex to dislike the creatures, for you ladies lavish so many caresses upon them.

I peel cats like I pet oranges. And I often snuggle with watermelons, sometimes with the intent of making love.

It is good to be a cynic — it is better to be a contented cat — and it is best not to exist at all.

Dear cat, your ears are flipped inside out, so I know you’re not listening to a word I’m not saying.

I hold my cats like any other broom you’d use to sweep the floor. I’m a janitor among animal lovers.

Cats are like mushrooms, only you'll rarely ever hear me scream, "Get off my pizza!" to a pack of mushrooms.

I’ve got hair in my mouth, because I replaced my teeth with my cat. This makes it more fun to pet my gums.

The way to get on with a cat is to treat it as an equal - or even better, as the superior it knows itself to be.

The cat . . . is for the man who appreciates beauty as the one living force in a blind and purposeless universe.

There will always be road construction in life, and never a point when all the highways are fixed. Keep walking.

Dogs have important jobs, like barking when the doorbell rings, but cats have no function in a house whatsoever.