I would like to see anyone, prophet, king or God, convince a thousand cats to do the same thing at the same time.

This was cheering. The real world was still there, it still contained puppies being puppies and cats being cats.

[Cats] are blissfully unaware that they have only a finite time in which to finish their ‘to do’ list.

My name is Two Dogs Wink While Chewing. It’s not an Indian name, nor one that reflects my cat-loving nature.

Cats will amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw.

It’s not fun to pet cats when you’ve already poured gravy on them, and you’re holding silverware.

Authors like cats because they are such quiet, lovable, wise creatures, and cats like authors for the same reasons.

I'm sort of a girly guy in that I love cats, rainbows, sunsets, flowers, trees, and sex. But not sex with trees.

I’m selling cat fur by the pound. It’s brand new—never been petted.
(Meows sold separately).

Nothing snubs quite like a cat. What evolutionary purpose did it serve, this inherent disdain, this artful blanking?

Tigerclaw stared in disbelief. Was the life of his son dependent on an ancient medicine cat and an arrogant kittypet?

Ever seen a cat with polka-dotted zebra fur? Come to my House of Love Open House this Friday night at 8:00 PM.


I sleep around. I sleep around my cat, who sleeps like a boulder in the middle of the bed and refuses to move.


I prefer cats to people, for the most part. Most people aren't cute,& if they are cute they rapidly outgrow it

Cats are always there when you need them, asleep, telling you with their body language that they don’t need you.