A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

You live but once; you might as well be amusing.

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

The world is a stage and the play is badly cast.

pretty girls behave better when you ignore them.

The dead are way more organized than the living.

I am a wizard, not a baboon brandishing a stick.

When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.

That's what I thought, you abominable prick.

I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.

Political life is best treated with antibiotics.

I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible.

Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.

The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.

That you exist, is offense enough to arrest you.