I'd rather be fried alive and eaten by Mexicans.

Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!

In all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane

Reading good books ruins you for enjoying bad books.

All saints have a past and all sinners have a future

Climate is what you expect, weather is what you get.

An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband.

If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell.

Heartache makesfor good poetry,heartburnnot so much.

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

The world is not full of crazy ninja perfume ladies!

Life is a journey. Time is a river. The door is aja

I was also built from delusional optimism and folly.

She was heavier than he expected - women always are.

I love being a wizard. Every day is like Disneyland.