Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say "attaboy".

I thought the best place to hide a tree was in the woods.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.

When you get a thing the way you want it, leave it alone.

You nicked-named my daughter after the Lock Ness Monster!

Try jogging when following your heart, it's healthie

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.

…well just call me Hannibal Lecter. With cleavage.

It's good to write badly. Things can only get better.

I’ve just found out I’m allergic to nut-cases

Slumber party with Dracula, all things considerd why not?

Building a better mousetrap merely results in smarter mice

Yo Mama sucks so much d***, her lips went double platinum.

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

Advertising - A judicious mixture of flattery and threats.