Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character.

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.

Not sweet like fruits, the heart of a maiden is a little sour.

Anyone can speak Troll. All you have to do is point and grunt.

I spilled more times than a glass of milk on a roller coaster.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Whoever said laughter is the best medicine never had gonorrhea

Yo Mama’s so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail order.

I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails.

You are only young once but you can stay immature indefinitely

Ignorance is bliss. Denial is the reaction to a painful truth.

Avoid watching porn, it increases expectations like UK clients

This is the problem with forever friends. They know too much.

When in trouble or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.

I wouldn't say I'm superficial, just averagely ficial.