Just wait until he figures out I shut him out of his slut hut.

When life throws shit at you, grow great, big, fuck off roses.

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

Now stand in the corner, and think about what you've done!

Christmas comes but once a year, starts in August ends in July

A smart person knows all the rules so he can break them wisely

Chic rarely bothers to leave the Rue De Faubourg Saint-Honore.

If you cannot laugh frequently and genuinely, you have no soul.

Yo Mama's so fat her butt cheeks have different area codes.

Don’t take this the wrong way, but you smell like Magnus.

As it turned out, everyone wanted a doughnut. Jace wanted two.

Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

The only problemwith Haiku is that you justget started and then

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

I'm the terrorist, do what I say or I'll terrorize you.