Judging by the sounds of general panic, I want a gun like that.

I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman

In a Pyongyang restaurant, don't ever ask for a doggie bag.

Walk tall but don't bang your head on low hanging branches.

I'm sorry I hurt your hand...with my face."-Bobby Pendragon

Never make an excuse for going to the pub, save it for leaving.

HECKLER: Say something funny!COMEDIAN: I don't do requests.

Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

I think you learn more if you're laughing at the same time.

To see what is in front of one s nose needs a constant struggle

I’ve got you under my skin, or is it just my eczma again?

What's the good of living if you don't try a few things?

I WILL NOT TOLERATE MENTION OF YOUR ABNORMALITY UNDER THIS ROOF!